Neighbour Dumps Alpine Snow Over My Fence

I am writing to log a complaint against my neighbour, Haruki Sato at No. 14. His new AtmosScape 'Alpine Blizzard' garden kit is ruining my yard. I respect a person's right to set their own home weather. But his air barrier is totally broken. Massive snow banks keep dumping over our fence into my space.

My yard is set for warm beach weather, which is great for my old figs and flowering vines. Instead, I must scrape heavy snow off my clay tiles every morning with a small burner. Last Thursday, a sudden storm from his patio froze my sun-bed mid-swing. It went rock hard. The temperature gap at the fence line is so big that small birds faint from the cold when flying over.

I spoke to him. Mr Sato came out in full ice-climbing gear. He claimed the snow on my side was just my own rising warm air pulling his frost over. He refused to turn down his air pressure. "My automated snow cycle runs through July to keep the melted cheese at peak thickness," he said.

My solar tiles are buried in deep ice. A family of wild emperor penguins lives in my garden shed now. If council does not make him fix his shields, I will turn my dial to desert heat. The penguins can learn to swim in his flooded kitchen.