Hull Cleaner Becomes Foreign Cargo

A two-year survey aboard the generation ship Argus has established that human rights extend precisely six inches past the outer metal skin.

The finding settled a ten-year dispute over tool salvage rights, but created a fresh headache during routine cleaning on Thursday morning.

Senior hull cleaner Prahlad Nayar leaned eight inches past the line while scraping grime off a sensor. Under ship law, his top half ceased to be a real person. When his magnetic boots slipped, his entire body fell into empty space, cancelling his citizenship instantly.

Because Nayar is no longer a citizen, pulling his safety rope back inside would count as importing unlisted meat without a permit.

"The line is absolute," said chief legal map-maker Nnamdi Eze. "Inside it, you have civil rights. Outside it, you are raw ore. If we pull him in now without paying duty, we are active smugglers, and I will not have this ship dragged down by illegal meat."

Nayar remains tied to the hull while officers fill out an emergency import form. Ship bosses cannot send bottled air to his suit, as pushing gas across the border requires a separate export licence.

Earlier today, a workmate shoved a paste tube across the line with a plastic pole. Nayar ate it.

Customs officers have now charged Nayar with smuggling the food inside his own stomach.