Drill Crew Carves Bowling Alley In Main Pillar

Ostra-Nickel security arrested four drillers Friday after the crew hijacked two melt-rigs to hollow a 24-lane bowling alley inside the colony’s main support column.

Lead driller Arlo Sadek was unrepentant.

"The nearest regulation lane is three orbits away," Sadek said from his holding chamber. "You cannot expect off-shift miners to spend six months in transit just for league night."

The crew spent eleven months vaporising sixty thousand tonnes of load-bearing nickel-iron alloy to create the hall.

"We preserved structural integrity," Sadek said.

Using precision cutter beams, they carved exact oil grooves, automated ball returns, and pin decks directly into the core pillar.

"The curvature was tricky," Sadek said. "Core gravity fluctuates near the heat vents. If your roll drifts two millimetres off line, it strikes a plasma line instead of the ten-pin."

When reminded that the excavation caused three residential tiers to settle at a four-degree tilt, Sadek remained unimpressed.

"That is basic floor lean," Sadek said. "You adjust your stance. True bowlers adapt."

Colony engineers estimate structural restoration will take four orbital cycles, though Sadek insisted the lane surface remains flawless.

"We left resin by lane twelve," he added.