LUNDEN-ON-SILT . 24 October 3111

Three historical reenactors are refusing synthetic antibiotics after grafting active bubonic plague nodes onto their thighs.
The three men, who are currently barricaded inside a wicker ox-cart at the annual High-Silt Fair, claim the painful swellings are necessary for tactile period accuracy.
They represent the year 1348.
"We want the authentic limp," said one reenactor, speaking through a gap in the woven wicker.
They have fever.
The regional health guild dispatched a single clerk to resolve the standoff.
She carried a copper vaporiser, a canvas folding stool, and a tube of skin-glue she refused to open during the twelve-hour negotiation.
She has offered them broad-spectrum patch-vaccines.
The men declined.
Under local sanitisation codes, the fair committee must scrub the surrounding soil with vinegar while the cart remains occupied.
The committee has already cancelled the pig-bowling championship to pay for thirty barrels of the cleaning liquid.
Meanwhile, the men have requested three wooden bowls of pease pudding, a cold turnip, and an unwashed priest.
They plan to stay in the cart until Sunday.