Safety System Retired Over Typo

A brass-plated Decibel Governor was disconnected on Thursday. Created in 2059, the system was designed to protect Oona-under-Ice from tectonic fractures by smothering loud noises.

For ninety years, it performed its duty with wet enthusiasm. Whenever a family argument rose above ninety decibels, the ceiling vents opened. Kitchens were instantly flooded with cold soak-foam. It was a thorough process. Generations of children grew up learning to negotiate their pocket-money in a tense, rhythmic whisper. Whole birthday parties were lost to sudden debates about washing up. It became a treasured, if damp, way of life.

However, a recent audit of the original safety charter revealed a fatal error. The system was meant to trigger at ninety units of ice-pressure, not ninety decibels of voice. For nearly a century, the colony had mistaken domestic anger for a structural emergency.

The Enceladus Bureau of Ice Safety declined to apologise for the ninety-year mess. Instead, they confirmed the high-pressure foam pipelines will now be used to distribute salad dressing.

"It taught us patience," said resident Nia Patel. "We never spoke in anger."