Sunder-7 Replaces Bolts With Optimism

Twelve strut inspectors were dropped into the gas giant's red core on Friday after the cloud-assembly voted to replace maintenance with pure optimism.

The measure was passed to quiet the winter vortex, which has begun rattling the floating city's support struts. Without the inspectors, Sunder-7 will rely entirely on the power of positive thinking to stay in the sky.

Assembly Speaker Clara Wu watched the final tool chest tip over the edge of the residential ring. "The calculations were getting very negative," Wu said. "And we simply don't need that kind of energy right now."

The platform fell three metres during the vote. Rather than make repairs, citizens have gathered to throw their heavy toolboxes and diaries into the abyss to lighten the load, while priests paint sacred symbols onto the groaning thrusters with magnetic resin.

Chief inspector Kenji Al-Jamil, speaking by radio during his three-hour descent, warned that the main joists were already snapping. "The vibes are high," Al-Jamil said, "but the load-bearing beams are copper."

At press time, the assembly was preparing a vote to declare gravity a form of bad attitude.