Basin Mourns Its Slowest Getaway Driver

Rangi Ndlovu died on his bunk behind the Bessel fuel bays on Friday.

Over fifty-two years, Ndlovu drove getaway crawlers for twenty-three crater syndicates, logging four hundred bank jobs and four hundred immediate arrests. He never broke speed limits. Under regional dust-settling bylaws, any tread vehicle moving faster than twelve kilometres an hour throws basalt powder into the dome air-scrubbers. Ndlovu refused to dirty the scrubbers.

"He had standards," said vault robber Wairimu Odhiambo at the dock chapel service. "You would run out with three boxes of raw prism-fuel and Rangi had the cab warm. Then patrol buggies would catch us before the ramp." Odhiambo wept into his cuff. "The air stayed breathable."

Ndlovu was overtaken by foot patrols seven times. During the 2984 bullion snatch at Dawes rim, patrol guard Vesna Mabuza strolled beside Ndlovu's left wheel for two kilometres, discussing onion blights, before reaching inside to switch off the ignition.

He took great pride in this. Between custodial stretches in low-gravity cell four, syndicates competed fiercely for his booking diary. Rival outfits valued his tidy mud flaps above their own freedom. His final arrest occurred in October at six kilometres an hour.