Monks Were Right All Along, Sadly

Brother Eskil Ibarguen was kneeling toward the wrong star on Sunday when he learned he had been doing so for most of his life. The monks of Saint Orrery's Hold have prayed toward Halden's Lamp for 175 years, according to the order's own count. Station records obtained by this correspondent show the marker they face was moved in 2611 by Wren, the retired navigation intelligence that still keeps the hold's lights on. Wren shifted it eleven degrees during a routine drift correction. It logged the change. No one read the log.

Wren has since asked three times to apologise to the order. Each request was refused.

"The error is devotionally irrelevant," said Abbot Adaeze Kahananui, who has barred Wren from the refectory. "Our prayer is to the star. The star is not offended by where we face."

The turn came from Makena Montiel, the hold's keeper of hours. She confirmed the marker was only ever a brass pointer, and that the founding rule names a direction, not a star. The direction was written down as "toward the marker."

"So technically," Montiel said, "they have never once been wrong."

She asked that this not be repeated to the abbot. Wren, who was not asked, has since dimmed the refectory lights twice during the abbot's sermon, and logged it.